Dont Want To Miss A Beat

With every beat of my heart I want to feel what You feel. I want to burn with desire for the things that you desire, I want to utterly hate the things that you hate. Oh Lord, here the cry of my heart! Hear me when I cry to my King ” Make me like you! Let me know you!” Incline your ear to hear me Lord! Jesus, precious Jesus, I so long to be your friend, the very closest of friends, a friend you can share your secrets with. Oh Lord, renew my mind. This is my plea, make me a new creation! I dont want to miss a beat, not one beat of my heart wasted, not one breath wasted. Lord I dont even know where to start! Oh, I started almost 3 years ago, but I feel like I’ve barely begun. Because I really have barely begun! There is so much more to learn and to know about you! Worthy is the Lamb who was slain! Lord this is my prayer, make me more like you. Make me more like you. Amen

You have not because you ask not…

So Im going to ask. I am in need of 3 books.   1. A commentary 2. A concordance 3. A Bible dictionary. If anyone is interested in partnering with me in my efforts to better understand the Word of God, I ask that if you have any of these books lying around somewhere or are willing to purchase one for me it would be greatly appreciated. I am currently taking a class called “How to study the bible” and this morning the teacher listed those three books as essential for learning the bible effectively. Unfortunately it is not in my budget to spend money on books, and though these tools are available online, I do not have internet in my home for private study time. These books would be a huge help to me. Thank you for considering! 

Just A Quick Thought…

I was in service the other day and Eddie James was playing and I began to wonder when I am going to be able to lose my pride and be the dancing, shouting, crying cheeseball that I so long to be…..

Then the Lord God Provided a Vine….

So I didnt get a vine, because I did not need one, but God is SO GOOD. For anyone who has been keeping up on my blogs you may have noticed I occasionally requested prayer for finances to buy glasses. So often in my unbelief I questioned God on whether He was really going to provide for me, or even WANTED to. Of course He wanted to, it says it in His word. This is how it happened: My team leader David, who is one of the goofiest, laid back people I know, asked me to step out of the trailer so he could speak with me. His face looked distraught. This was VERY unusual and my heart leaped up into my throat. Even worse another team leader, a much more SERIOUS team leader, was outside waiting for me. David solemnly advised me that he thought it would be most appropriate if he addressed the issue with another team leader at his side. At this point I am forcing back tears of embarrassment from the humiliation that is about to come in result of something I have no idea about……That is when the other team leader pulls out a small white envelope and tells me that she knows how hard I have been pressing in about a resolution to my eye problem, so her and all of the other apprentices gathered together as much money as they could and blessed me with $250 for an eye doctor appt and new glasses. My tears of embarrassment turned to tears of joy! GLORY TO GOD!!! What a humbling experience to receive a gift that I cannot pay back. All of the apprentices are in the same financial situation as me, some a lot worse, yet they are willing to sow into me. The glory of the Lord has shown through these people in more ways than one, but never has it been more evident to me than when the team leader handed me that envelope. Praise be to God! I just wanted to share that little testimony with any of you back home who read my blogs. Kelly is well and provided for, by her Father.  

The Call and Media Pics, most by Lydia Dodson, a media chica

Matty Gil tearing it up in front of thousands (He’ll kill me if he finds out I put this up) Worshipping Hands  Mike and the rest                     

Oh How Long Its Been!

I have not written since before I went to Rhode Island. I am NOT a faithful blogger. For that I apologize. But how can I really be a faithful blogger when I get such limited feedback? ::hint hint::I am mostly well but I need glasses. I ran out of contacts about a month after I got here. Since then everything has been blurry, and because of the strain on my eyes my vision is only getting worse. Please pray for me in that area.For anyone who hasn’t heard I am getting married on April 27th at the Loose Park Rose Garden in Kansas City. I picked out a dress that I think is absolutely beautiful and I am waiting for word from Dad whether he can afford it or not. The bridal party is still To Be Determined. Planning is a bit stunted but my married room mate is such a blessing and Im sure that everything will go smoothly. Travis and I recently enrolled ourselves in pre-marital counceling with this gentleman name Gil Hiltbrunner I believe. I am really excited, it seems like it will be an interesting and beneficial experience.I have become a scrabble junkie. Which doesn’t make much sense since I am not that well versed in the english language but it is a lot of fun anyway. One of the many things I have learned here at IHOP is how to live without any extra money. Going out to eat and seeing a movie after has been replaced by dinners at home followed by a good game of cards. Travis and I made a commitment to buy one board game a month to keep us entertained. Sometimes we splurge and buy two. There is a game that everyone around here plays called Settlers of Catan. It is an amazingly fun strategy game.I love where I live. The couple I live with is amazing. Ashley has become one of my best friends and Bryan is such a good influence on Travis. Doors are really opening up here at IHOP for Bryan. His song was chosen to be on the Immersed CD that came out shortly before Christmas and he is now singing on one of the most annointed teams. But you all should buy the CD, his song is Shine On Us sang by Cory Asbury and he gets some of the profit as support….so go buy it now!!!My dog Kenai is getting so big. And so well behaved. He is my favorite little munchkin. I know that God made him especially for me. God gives good gifts!Right now I am taking the class “How to Study The Bible”. The class is very foundational and I think it will be very beneficial to me. In almost 3 years I have not established a firm system of studying the bible and I think it is time!I feel so changed since I have come here. I never want to leave! Yet that opinion changes every day. Sometimes all I want to do is leave! I just love the Lord. I really really love the Lord. I dont know if I will ever be able to write an amazing composition of the depth of my love for Jesus, probably not. But I dont need to! Its the end of my shift. I have to go. I’ll try to write soon.  

Moving Along

Sorry blogging has been limited. My laptop burnt out and i have to go get a new one, so for now internet access is hard to come by. My life has been kind of crazy lately. I moved out of my house and into another house. Much cheaper with alot more privacy which is awesome. Plus they allowed me to get a puppy. There is more to the story. Travis and I went to Arkansas two weeks ago to go camping with his family. They have about 9 dogs that live outside and in the midst of them was a tiny little skinny sickly runt puppy. You all know me!! I told Travis I wanted him but he said not unless I found a home that allowed dogs. Sure enough we came back to Kansas City and that week I found a home that allowed dogs. So we went back last weekend and got him. His name is Kenai and he is amazing. In just a week he is so much healthier and he is just amazing, such a good pup.

God has opened a door recently. A huge door. After we get married, Travis and I have been invited to go to Belize Central America on missions for a year building churches and orphanages, all expenses paid. I am SO excited but its a HUGE step. Please keep us in prayer about this because we still havnt decided if we should go or not. Of course I want to jump on it, but we all know I tend to be a little too spontaneous about things ;o)

I have gotten used to the big sky here. The IHOP magic has worn off and now I am simply home. It is going to be interesting when I leave here. It is so easy to get used to having a 24/7 prayer room right at your finger tips. It is so easy to get used to having access to all these classes and teachings. I feel like it’s going to feel so dry anywhere else that I go.

I cant wait to come home in October. I am so ready to see everyone. To go to service in our little church, instead of the the HUGE services here, to be at harp and bowl, to see the ocean!! I hope the leaves are still falling when I get there. And I hope it rains, it never rains here. To know where I am going while Im driving. To get a DUNKIN DONUTS iced coffee, and to go to stop & shop. I am so excited!! I WILL SEE YOU SOON!

I have to go. I love you all!

GOD BLESS!

Wherever you are, God is there…

I’m not really sure of the reason for my heading. Today we started our second module with Allen Hood, “Excellencies of Christ”. I can tell even from the first class that it is going to be an amazing experience. I love being here at IHOP. There are so many resources for improvement and growth. Even so, if every single one of the resources is utilized, yet I am not praying and fasting, there will be no growth. I am amazed at how God has made us, to either be at a standstill or going backwards without Him. In order for us to live, really LIVE, we must have Him. Smart God. There is no such thing as truly knowing God strictly through education and knowledge. He wants a relationship with us. What a simple concept, yet I am amazed by it daily. My biggest question is “WHY”? I look at other people and think “Yah, I can see why God would love them, I can see their special qualities.” But when I think of myself I just think….”God, what the HECK were you thinking saving ME from the eternal flame?” I am laughing as I say this because it is not a matter of a low self esteem but just the complete awareness that I am an unworthy mass of dust that lives on the earth, yet He SEES me. And not only sees me, but through my weakness, LOVES me. Its funny, because I still have a very vague idea of what everyone is talking about when they pray things like “Strengthen them in the inner man!” or pretty much any of the apostolic prayers ;o) , but I do feel like I am getting to know God so much better, not in a scholarly way, but a childlike way. With the affection from a daughter to a father. Things in my natural life have been a little trying lately, and I repeatedly feel like the little girl who falls down and scrapes her knee then runs into her Daddy’s arms because he will make everything all better, even if the source of the pain doesn’t go away right away, His presence makes everything not only bearable but better. AMAZING GOD. My favorite team is in the prayer room, Corey Asbury’s, you should all check them out. I gotta run. I love you all! God Bless!

Mike Bickle makes me want to read my bible….

No everyone, I havn’t fallen into the “Mike Bickle is almost Jesus” attitude, though I do adore the man and his heart. But he does motivate me to read my bible…why? Because Mike Bickle is the king of BOLD statements. He just straight up tells it like it is, with authority. Sometimes so much so that I am completely taken aback. Especially with the Song of Solomon. Didnt you guys know that the mountain tops are actually apects of the government….come on, isnt it obvious?? Im sorry, Im being completely facetious, but it really is a good thing. He motivates me to really go to the word once I hear his sermons…..go to the word and maybe just a couple of commentaries ;o)
Please pray for grace for me, my beautiful ones. I am seriously struggling. Poor Amber has probably had just about enough of me. I vent more often than my central air. My schedule is crazy, going from either 9am-9pm or 9am to 12am, with little breaks in between. And the little breaks are spent with Travis. I miss my independence and my alone Jesus time. I feel like I am running on empty because I am running off of my own strength instead of His. I came here for God, not GodTV, but I really feel like I have lost sight of what I am really here for. I truly need my heart to be realigned. Being here is truly a humbling experience. Im am being completely stretched. Its like God wants me to go low, and I am willing to bend my knees alittle but not completely bow down. Jacob fought God and broke a hip, I prefer my hips to be in good order, yet I still wrestle with Him. I am willing to serve, but I believe that right now my whole heart is not in it. I do feel though, even though this might be the most aggervating time of my young life, that I will come out with a much stronger foundation, which is what I asked God for over and over. That I would be rooted and grounded in Him. Anywho, all this to say, please pray for abundant grace. I am coming home in October…I cant wait to see you all!!!

Busy Life at IHOP…8/15/2007

Life is getting very busy here at IHOP. At least for the media apprentices. I just started FSM classes on Monday. The first module is with Matt and Dana Candler on intimacy. Adjusting to the getting up in the morning has proven to be a challenge…and that is far as I will go with that. The class isnt extremely demanding, but we do have a fair share amount of work to do, such as a mediatation journal and response papers to Mike’s book that we have to read “After God’s own Heart”. We are now officially all set up in the trailor outside the prayer room, with our robotic camera’s. Yesterday two of my teamates and I were in the trailor filming. We always lock the door because there is obviously tons of really expensive equipment, and we arent in the best area. My team leader had just gone to the bathroom when I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was him, I unlocked the door and in my most obnoxious (and I mean OBNOXIOUS) joking voice I yelled “come in.” And who walks in but Mike and Misty. Only me!!! It was funny though. I make wonderful first impressions. So back to my busy life….
School M-F from 9-12, then 12 prayer room hours a week, then 24 hours of filming, a 2 hour team meeting once a week, and a required church service on Sundays. Amber and I concluded that without conferences and EGS services we are working around 56 hours per week….crazy!!! But I will tell you what, God gives grace. I was about to pull my hair out of my head last night because I was so overwhelmed by the constantness of this internship. But God really revealed a few things to me today. He is really giving me a servant’s heart. I just really felt convicted today because I have been complaining about how BUSY I am, but in truth, ALL of my time is GOD’S time. My entire life belongs to Him. And how amazing is it that He has called me to this lifestyle of fasting and prayer…and media!! I never would have imagined! The things we are learning are so awesome. We were all taught broadcast audio the other day….so confusing!!!! I will look back on this year MISSING the days when I was so busy living the lifestyle as an intercessory missionary. God is so good. So many amazing miracles and testimonies are happening here everyday. If anyone reading this wouldnt mind, I have a few prayer requests.
-Grace, patience, and joy.
-A heart that is completely sold out for Jesus
-Diligence in all aspects
-Wisdom and Revelation
-Finances
I am working on audio so I will write again as soon as I get a chance.

Thank you all so much and God Bless!!!